Unit 10.00: Knowing Your Anger and Taming Your Temper

Imagine you are becoming super Angry -- Step-by-Step... --  

You're trying to get somewhere fast... and all the sudden, you think you got it made down to Main Street and take a left, then one block... and you're there... right on time.

But then..... A Train's Coming!!!  OMG!!!  What now!!!

What is going on at this point in your mind?  What is going on at this point in your body?

Now... Your Temper is rising....  Right???

  Now, with your Temper Rising.... What is going on at this point in your mind?  What are you going to do?

  Now, with your Temper Rising.... What is going on at this point in your body?  How does it feel?

  Now, with your Temper Rising.... What are you Feeling?  --- Angry???  Furious???  Mad???

  Are you Afraid you are going to Lose Your Temper?

  Now, with your Temper Rising even more.... What are you Thinking?

  If you do Lose Your Temper; What will that Look Like?

  OOPS!!!  You Lost Your Temper....  Oh No!!!  

  And Now, since you Lost Your Temper; What about the Consequences?

  Now, when you realize that there are going to be Consequences; What would your Fears be at this point?

  What do you NOW wish that you had done differently?

  How could you prevent this awful feeling in the future?


Check out these ideas from the Mayo Clinic:

 “Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using "I" statements — to stay in control.

Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic?  Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate?  Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships."

 "Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

 

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

 

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

 

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

 

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

 

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

 

6. Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."

 

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

 

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

 

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

 

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.”  (Source: By Mayo Clinic Staff: 10 Tips To Tame Your Temper).

 

*** Please CLICK HERE to complete your Taming Your TemperWorksheet. ***

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