Unit 12.50: The Benefits of Creating Your Own "Calm Down Kit" To Help Prevent Acting Out In Anger

    What can one do when their highway is tilting sideways and what's up ahead is not really clear? 

Think about some of the best ways that you know to manage your Anger:

  • What might be the best ways to manage your Anger?
  • What kinds of Thinking help best when Angry?  
  • What kinds of Feelings help best when Angry?
  • Where does one go to keep their Anger from getting worse or from causing trouble? 
  • What kinds of things might one do in order to keep her or his Anger from getting out of control?  
  • What if one's Anger got out of control to some extent?  What happens then?
  • What might one be able to do to help fix it -- before it happens?  And
  • How might one prevent getting so Angry in the first place?
  • What are some reasons why it's important to find ways to avoid Acting Out in Anger?


On The Very Well Mind website, Amy Morin, LCSW suggests that:

“Failing to manage your anger can lead to a variety of problems like saying things you regret, yelling at your kids, threatening your co-workers, sending rash emails, developing health problems, or even resorting to physical violence.   (Dr. B asks: "Is any anger issues truly worth losing a job or going to jail over?")  (Morin continues: "But not all anger issues are that serious.  Instead, your anger might involve wasting time thinking about upsetting events, getting frustrated in traffic, or venting about work."

"Managing your anger doesn't mean never getting angry.  Instead, it involves learning how to recognize, cope with, and express your anger in healthy and productive ways.  Anger management is a skill that everyone can learn.  Even if you think you have your anger under control, there’s always room for improvement.”

 

When it comes to being angry and wanting to deal with it effectively... 

Morin also suggests these steps:


    • “Identify Your Triggers
    • Evaluate Your Anger  (Dr. B asks: How Angry am I?  Is this really worth it?)
    • Recognize Warning Signs  (Dr. B asks: Am I about to go out of control?)
    • Step Away (Dr. B says: Take a Time Out!  
    •                                         or You could Do a Stop-Breath and Focus Exercise...")
    • Talk to a Friend
    • Get Moving  (Dr. B says: Exercise... do something.. Take a walk - or a safe drive...)
    • Manage Your Thoughts
    • Change the Channel
    • Focus on Relaxation (Dr. B says: Do some Deep Breathing/Grounding Exercises...)
    • Explore Your Feelings; and/or
    • Create a "Calm Down" Kit”

 

Creating Your Calm Down Kit:

Perhaps the most compelling among Morin’s ideas about Anger Management could be the idea of Creating a “Calm Down” Kit.  It's always good to have something that one can use or do in order to manage one's Anger.... Right?

   Morin writes: “Create a "Calm Down" Kit

"If you tend to come home from work stressed and take out your anger on your family, or you know that workplace meetings cause you a lot of frustration, create a calm down kit that you can use to relax.

Think about objects that help engage all your senses. When you can look, hear, see, smell, and touch calming things, you can change your emotional state. So a calm down kit might include scented hand lotion, a picture of a serene landscape, a spiritual passage you can read aloud, and a few pieces of your favorite candy. Include things that you know will help you remain calm."  (Dr. B suggests that if you like, you could just start placing things that help you calm down into a shoebox or something and keep it in your bedroom in case of emergencies.)

Morin continues: "You also might create a virtual calm down kit that you can take everywhere. These are things that you can call upon when needed and are more portable. For instance, calming music and images, guided meditation, or instructions for breathing exercises could be stored in a special folder on your smartphone.”


For a moment, just think:

 -- >>>What might be the benefits of having a really good Calm Down Kit?

 -- >>> What items or other ideas might become a part of your “Calm Down” Kit?  


You can use the following exercise to help figure this out.


*** CLICK HERE to Complete Your Calm Down Kit Worksheet!!!  ***


 Source: From: (Very Well Mind: By Amy Morin, LCSW; Retrieved 10/21/2021 at: https://www.verywellmind.com/anger-management-strategies-4178870).


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