DrBsAngerManagementBlog

Connecting My Anger with Me: (By Dr. Beverly, May 2021)   What is Anger?  According to Oxford, Anger is " a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. " ( Oxford )  Anger is also defined by the APA as: " Anger is  an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong . Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. " ( APA ).   What does it look like when we do not (or cannot) manage our anger?  Perhaps like frustration, outburst.   What is it like when we do (or can) manage our anger effectively?  Better to find solutions with.   Think about a time you were Angry and respond to these questions:    What were you angry about?   Could be anything.    If you think about your anger in your body, where was it at in your body?  Like perhaps Heart Racing, Head Pounding or Hurting, Sweating, Feeling Nervous, Shakine

When we think about what anger is, we think of a lot of things like :My actions, Emotions...  Is Anger a thing, a phenomenon, a state of mind?  Probably all three, Right?  And that's all good.  But Anger can also be viewed as a process.    How does a Process work?  In steps and in formalities (like following the rules of a procedure).  Or t hink of it this way:  A comes before B; and B almost always comes before C.  Think of Anger as an A, B, C process. Each event involving Anger has a Sequence of sub-events.  These sub-events include the following:  A = Antecedent B = Behavior C = Consequence   In other words, Anger might be viewed as having 3 phases, which include:  A = The Antecedent or What happened before I got angry. B = The Behavior or What I did (including how I perceived the Antecedent, what I thought and felt about it, and what I did about it).  And C = The Consequence or Whatever Consequences, Sanctions, Rewards or Punishments that I got in exchange for the Choices I mad

 WHat are Anger Cues?   Accordign to " Anger cues are  warning signs telling you that you're becoming angry . They can be a physical or bodily response, a behavior, a feeling, or a thought. ... feeling a rush of energy. Rapid breathing and an increased heart rate are also physical cues that you may be becoming angry. "  "Anger Cues   • Physical Cues are felt in your body. They include feeling warm, or sweating, or even feeling a rush of energy. Rapid breathing and an increased heart rate are also physical cues that you may be becoming angry.   • Behavioral Cues are things that you do. Behavioral cues include yelling, clenching your teeth, slamming doors, etc.   • Emotional Cues are things that you feel. Feelings of fear or worry or jealousy may be cues that you’re becoming angry.   • Thought Cues are things that you think or that you “say” to yourself. The way you think about or interpret an event can increase your anger level and lead to angry behavior. "

  What do we do when a situation is going Negative?   Wouldn't be great if we could easily learn how to have healthy interactions that if they are going negative; can still include respectful conflict; or no conflict at all?    Let's talk about the Value of Picking your battles wisely -- What would that be worth if I could do it well?  First, I will need to be doing some thinking, feeling, waiting, planning, accepting and moving forward with courage. Here are some Steps for when a Situation Seems to be Going Negative:    THINK ABOUT IT:   Is it worth it?  Is it worth losing everything?   So then, why be in such a hurry?   What's the emergency here?      Do You really have to do something right now?     Wouldn't it be better if you waited until you had a good plan?   So think about this first: Do you really want to die on that hill?  Is this situation really worth the risks that it carries?   Or do you want to live to fight another day?  Perhaps you could win if you wait

Please watch, Explore and Think about the following 5 Videos in Relation to ways of Managing My Anger: One Simple Technique for Working with Anger with Marsha Linehan, PhD The Concept of Willing Hands  -- Holding your hands up lll palms up.. Holding hands up, or by side, or on your knees..  Palms up.. or palms out... or  Radical Acceptance :   Practice letting go of wanting something in particular.. "Letting go constantly and willingly accepting what is...".  "You only have to accept the moment that you are in... and the past.."  or  How to Reduce Anger Using the DBT Skill Opposite Action Doing the opposite of what you are thinking about doing... You might be angry and want to yell at someone; but instead, do the opposite... compliment them. "Identify and challenge the negative interpretations and judgements that I am making." or OppositeAction Identify the emotion you want to change, fear anger sadness shame jealousy.... Identify and describe what you fee

  What Role Does Anger Play in Domestic Violence? What Does Anger Look Like? How Can We Better Control Our Anger?    Many people who have Anger or Angry-Violence-Related Charges feel that if they could get their Anger under control; they would not have Angry-Thinking, Angry-Feeling or Angry-Behaving.  And surely, effective Anger Management might help prevent many other instances of Anger in general.     First of all, Angry Behavior is a Choice.  If I do Anger, then I'm likely to be held accountable for that behavior.   No matter how angry I am, there's no excuse for out of control anger or abuse.   However, About is also about other  phenomena  that are not necessarily driven by one's Anger alone (i.e., Power & Control, Fear (like a fear of loss), Poor Communication Skills (not knowing how to communicate when upset), Impatience, Insecurity / Jealousy, High Stress, Poor Self-Control, Feelings of loss Loss, etc...).   Still other factors might also contribute to my expres